If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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