home. puking in laundry basket.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize