This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
