My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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