Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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