we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Even my vagina gasped.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
