Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
