These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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