My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
