i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
