Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
