you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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