SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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