so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
