Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
