im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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