You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
