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Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
