I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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