Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
