he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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