What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
nutella sex= disaster
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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