So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
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she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom