i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
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So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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