I feel great
I just peed on a car
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
