anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
