I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
