i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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