i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
