hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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