ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
As shirtless as possible
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
