you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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