Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How external is "for external use only"?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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