my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
