Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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