so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
