Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
