Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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