I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
