I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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