im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
