I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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