I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
