You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
