Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
