Yo dont text me then not text me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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