Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When are your genitals available?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
