So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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