Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
