what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
