My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
