What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
