sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
