i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Welp...herpes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
