Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
