I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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