I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
