I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Drake has all the answers
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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