I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
