it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
