I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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